Management says the new wellness dashboard is “high signal,” which is another way of saying it now tracks sighing in real time.
The score reportedly rose after leadership introduced a mandatory gratitude field to incident retros, requiring staff to identify one thing the outage taught them about resilience.
Employees say the index now spikes whenever anyone opens a calendar invite titled quick reset, which analysts describe as the closest measurable proxy to collective spiritual recoil.
Management has reportedly added a new dimension to the dashboard tracking the average time between a deep sigh and the opening of LinkedIn in an incognito window.